Wednesday, May 16

The Plight of Wee Man

Wee Man, tim-Tam himself, had a run in with the Vet. it was late Saturday night as he sat next to me on the futon, slightly leaning in. My hand lightly grazed over some odd formations on his side. They looked like raised crop signs, and they swiftly began to multiply. Now whether or not it was wheat reacting with his insides, aliens yerning for contact, or a bug in his bed, we will never quite know.

I changed his "sheets" and vacuumed his room. I gave him benedryl and watched his every move. They spread and joined and raised higher, getting hotter and hotter. So, i took him to the vet. He has never been there, so he thought it was a very glamorous play date. He sauntered about, sliding on the slick floor. All the other pets there were owned by Buick-driving men with canes. their pets could have been show stoppers in Best in Show. All of which could stand under Wee Man without touching his teets. he just flattened himself on the ground and let them tackle him and roll around. The vet asked me if i have thought about taking him to obedient school. Um no, i AM the school. I live in the woods, my life is chaos, i am crazy, so what would expect of my pets? the nerve.

Bottom line and statistics:

1. Wee Man Weighs in at 71.6 LBS!!
2. New Diet: Tree-Hugging, high end Hollywood type hypo-allergenic food that contains more organic and pure ingredients then MY diet!!
3. Two shots of something fantastic that made the Bumps dissapear within 44 minutes
Oral medication: 3 2x a day
4. Shampoo, again, more expensive then mine combined with the new hair brush i bought to be used 2 times a week. We dont have a tub, so it's shower time. It also has to stay ON him for 20 minutes. Good luck with that one!!

He is now probably chillin in his crate, staring Dozer down, praying that he will unlatch his door!!

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