Wednesday, December 21

Poor Pet

Starter Shot: How big is YOUR kitchen sink? Mine is debatably smaller than my bathroom sink. So the next time you feel bad about emptying your HUGE dishwasher, think about ME. Every dish that is cleaned here passes through this sink with my hands attached. They are rinsed here, washed here, rinsed again. I think i can put 5 bottles in it at one time, but then they are stuck. And yes, most everything else in the house is on the small-scale.

SICK BOY: A tribute to Social Distortion. Check out the little guys muscles and his ENORMOUS TONGUE!!! Thus, the name, SICK BOY!
I am officially on HOLIDAY, so i get to do neat domestic things, ride my bike, and play with DOZER. I realized he does nothing, has a very boring life, and needed some interaction. The following is a photo and written account of... DOZER'S DAY WITH THE MAMA.

It all began with Dozer on the bed. He either sleeps here (thus the sheet over the sheet), by the front door, in the kitchen, or in the middle of the floor. But he does, nothing else. (Unless handlbars are close by, but that's another day).

I decided to load up the jeep with bike and dog, head down to sunny Loma Linda for a little Hulda Crooks action. Notice he looks strong, eager, and ready to go...
He started out strong, leading the way on the single track. He kicks up a huge amount of pebbles and small stones as well as dust, so i tried to keep some space. The fastest we got together was 14.7 MPH, pretty good for a 10 month old Puppy!
However, once we reached the bottom of Jedi, he was DONE. He would burrow under a bush just to get cool and find the 8 blades of grass to lay on. Poor creature. This is when he began to hate me...As we were coming back towards the park, i spotted a nasty little COYOTE!! i Know Dozer can and will pack a punch, but to put him to the test when he is so fatigued and worn out just wouldn't be fair. So i pulled out my 9 and got rid of the Coyote. Just kidding. We just waited a few minutes and kept going.
But, we got all the way back. We only did 4 miles, but that was the longest, hardest thing he has ever done! He had slobber all the way back to his ears, his eyes were bloodshot and it looked like he had a Santa Beard, there was so much slobber on his chin. I had to pull it off with multiple sticks. It made me throw up in my mouth. Joking. It is now all over the back seat of the Jeep. I guess it was his form of payback.

The next stop on Dozer's Day Out was my work for a little girls basketball practice. The little monster found his second wind! He chased the girls as they squealed and ran faster, he stole the ball and licked it 85 times, he spun out and slid across the floor. All the time, still panting. He hasn't stopped!

So, i put him in the other PE teachers office. We could hear his cries for help and feel his hatred towards me. He kept jumping up so he could see us, what a freak!
He is now napping on the floor, and in the near future i will take him into the shower because he is disgusting! At least he is extremely dosile right now, pretty much won't put up a fight!

That's it, the day for my poor little pet.


Fuzzy said...

Dozer !!! I know what to buy him for x-mas Joy, huge Kleenex tissue box! Haha ... I love that last pic of him behind the door ...thats classic!

grifsmum said...

what a day! I wish Griffyn would have been there to help Dozer out...but G would have made it only 4 minutes and not at that speed! I love the recount!

Cap'n said...

You think your place is small? I opened up the back door to our house, and broke out the window on the front door! Our sink is so small (how small is it?), Lilliputians look at it and go.."Damn, that's small!"
Dozer so woulda whupped that coyote's ass, cuz coyotes don't have mountain biker mama's!