We need to talk.

Excerpts:

I am not sick any more, YET i maintain my pledge to continue in sugary indulgences. Here is a snippet of what still ails me:

Mr. Coach:
I have completely recovered from the black death. A few minor issues linger, like if i tap the back of my head on the precise spot, i can feel it in a few of my molars. I can also feel those specific teeth if i go over a bump or any sweet jumps.


Other than that, i have just been TCB, laying by the pool, fixing my hair and picking out my outfits.

However, i did get a bit too much sun on my back. it keeps getting darker while the back and front for that matter, of my thighs stays opaquely white. it could be the shadow of my extremely large hind-quarters that blocks the sun from reaching the skin. i apologize for loosing my small white t-shirt tan lines. I don't know what i was thinking. I will wear a jersey while laying out tomorrow, which in fact will solve the problem of the burned back. But what to do with the thighs...

On another note, my water diet is going well. We have a reverse osmosis (eh?) water filter, so i can feel the ions (?) and minerals (?) running through my veins, but mostly out of my urethra. I only have one. Other people have two. i don't know if you know that or not.

i covet a nap right now since i squandered my night hours away watching A level reality TV which quickly fell to the quality of something that would go straight to video. But a nap i can not have because a) my back is burned c) my sheets are in the wash c) i used half a can of expensive hairspray on my hair, to get it to "pop" which after an encounter with Mr. pillow, would have to be readjusted and reapplied. I can not have flat hair for the big events of my evening, which shall include but yet are not limited to:

watching reality TV
drinking high quality water
avoiding at all costs the teenagers that are convening here for a hot tub adventure. you don't even want to know.

I stay in my room. this sounds highly negligent, oh quite contrare. I keep my window wide open, and the light off. i can see and hear way more than they can. i call it impeccable hearing and a pretty good view.