What a day to have a "DAY"
This could become quite convoluted and disconnected, so please bear with me! I had a bit of a race in Big Bear today, about a 40 minute drive from the good old FF. I have raced there many times and neither the trails nor altitude affect me, which is a good thing.
If the local Community College offered a course called "Listen to your inner self you retard" i would take it, twice. I could save a lot of many things by mastering that art.
GOOD NEWS: I did NOT DNF!!
Yesterday i started losing my voice, then the unwanted boogies came and my belly hurt, real BAD!! I went to bed at 9, to sleep at 12, and that is just how it goes.
This morning i had full use of 1/4 of one nostril, and could only talk softly (HUGE dilemma for me, some would welcome it though). My head was all squirly and was everything else about me.
I took Timber as my sidekick, with the idea that i would just do feed's, or pull out and take the dog for a walk. Christie and Matt told me not to race, but DUH, it was paid for, must get points.
I had a 7 minute warm up riding to the start line. My front brake was rubbing, i told myself fix it at the line. I didn't. it rubbed all day. At the line i told myself, ok, you have 300 yards. If you yak then, pull out. if you black out, quit. But beyond that, you are on your own. This was not a lap course, so no 6 miles and back to base camp. This was probably 20 something and if you quit, you still ride out.
The line boasted 5 solid pro women, 3 experts in my class, and about 5 experts in the other classes. at the start i immediately turned off my HR monitor because it was beeping the FAST beep, like you are on the LINE. I pedaled up the hill and just kept passing people. I passed all the experts, then all the pros, and thought that was weird. then i just kept climbing. The wild card pro caught me after about 15 minutes and we rode together, which was awesome! She told me i was killing it, which i told it was because i was very angry and upset.
Now here's the deal. Anger only lasts for so long. This past week or so i have dropped about 6 L-B's, (I have been trying to shed some girth for 15 months. Now that it is gone, i want it back) leaving me completely void of any sort of glycogen store. I was left with NOTHING. I had led the entire group, way out there, for about 1 hour 6 minutes. Then i didn't.
POINT of the DAY: Hold onto those fleeting things. Those glances, kittens playing in the grass, smell of fresh baked cookies. I could have totally flipped out, but just knowing that i had been THERE for that LONG will be remembered for months, and give me fuel for my next task.
The really cool thing about leading a race and then popping off the back like a reverse rocket is that you get to talk to everyone. Although i was in survival mode and my language sounded like this "Blgoadhw", it was cool to see people. AS i WALKED my bike up the second hill (i can't remember when i walked my bike out of exhaustion the last time. At least it is carbon, so it is svelte) some guys asked if i was ok. I said i just hit the wall, first time this year. They just told me i was due. Pretty straight forward. Then my friend from Sho Air caught me walking again, and he said i still looked cute, and that was the ticket.
I knew my body would shut down today, that is why i don't care. I also was glad it was a local Cal State race and that i did get points. The girl i was riding with for the first hour or so got a 2:10, i got a 2:43. I am not ashamed! As Matt F says "Suffering Builds Character" and you are given a choice to accept that, or dwell on the GINORMOUS time gap. But it's ok, pride should fall quickly, and for a bit i was riding with Chrissy Bono, who usually places first in pro, and she was way off the back because her legs were very upset. We just looked at each other, commented on the difference of scenery back there, and kept pedalling.
I was chatting with the pro winner at the awards. She said she was just killing a road race a few weeks back, then she dropped and cramped and came in 40 minutes back and as she crossed the line, the workers pulled it up off the ground!! They were taking down the finish chute when i came through today.
Like i have said many times: I will DNF if there is excessive blood; bones protruding; or a puppy that needs to be saved.
I just hope i dont STAY ill, i have things to take care of!
As usual, the people i race with are fantastic. The community that is build around mountain biking is one that is hard to find elsewhere.