Our woodland "town" is overflowing with a plethora of varments or various size. Me and the boys have had several encounters with racoons which always leaves dozer drooling, pacing, and sporting a mowhawk!
Thursday night, around 2:00am, when i took Small Pet out to water the lawn, Dozer bolted out between my legs. He scurried around the yard searching for the creatures. Then i heard them. IN THE GARAGE!!! I am remotely afraid of them, so i just went inside and cleaned up all the trash the next morning.
Saturday night, around midnight, i awoke to an orange blinking light. First thought was that i had hit the panic button somehow on my jeep keys. I went down stairs, and yes, it was the Jeeps hazard lights. Was someone steeling it? no, it was the first car in the drive, with two behind it! I summoned Dozer to my side, holstered my keys and went out into the cold. As soon as we crested the stairs, Dozers hair stood on end and his throat began to rumble with distain. I came along side the Jeep, clicked the unlock button which turns on the dome light and stared in dismay. There was a RACOON sitting on the drivers seat of the jeep, one hand on the stearing wheel and one on the window. I flipped out. I ran inside and woke Jason up and told him my disturbing tale. He merely grunted and asked if i thought i could kill it.
Once back outside, i opened the rear hatch window, hoping to lure Dozers prey out. I decided that the Racoon was moderately intelligent, so i took Snoop inside. Still not leaving, i opened a rear passenger door. Now remember, this whole time the hazards are flashing. He then turns the head lights on. He kept trying to get out through the window which was only open about 4 inches. (Not my fault) He finally realized he could actually use a door. As he scampered on the roof, i thought to myself, no, hes not that stupid, he cant! But he did! He ran right onto the hatch, which slammed shut and catipulted him into the wood pile below.
Now, thats comedy. If you don't think that is actually funny, i officially think you are very boring.