Monday, April 3

"HOLY PATELLA!!"

Anatomy was one of my favorite college courses. My favorite bone in the body is the left lateral maleolus you know that knot on the outside of your ankle. My second favorite, however, is the PATELLA. I used to take great enjoyment mocking my students health papers and where they "thought" this bone was located.

The following is a tale of my left patella, with of course many tangents.

SAFARI PRE-RIDE: NO 'GAME' TO BE FOUND
Things were crazy. Christie took a wild burm and stomped out in a way in which she thought she could have created a hair-line fracture. But since there was no bone sticking out or blood gushing, i said she was fine. But it actually really did hurt a lot and became a big worry.

I, on the other hand, was out of control. I had a pretty placid season last year, with the main issue being me running into a post at the Fall Classic. I made up for it big time.

The Mechanic pimped my ride so well, i endo'ed 4 times. Really. Those brakes work really well. I guess that is what i was missing out on last year. But one of those adventures was on a huge rock and the only thing that hit it was my left patella I created a hole in my leg warmers, which when i finally took them off, were glued to my leg with blood. There was also fragments of my flesh stuck to the warmers. Cool.

Second incident of pain, actually emotional pain. Teri, Jay, Christie and I all stopped to do something. I came up next to Teri and needed to stop. Out of the corner of my little little eye, I spied a post. But in actuality, it was one of those brown forest service posts that bends ALL the way to the ground. So of course me and the Sugar followed in rare form. Which landed me on my left side, thus engaging my CO2 cartridge, dispelling a lot of gas. It was bad, very bad.

When i thought things couldnt go any farther south, we came to a spot that needed practice. Everyone was watching, good clue to hike it. I got to the middle and promptly fell to the right....on....rusty barbwire fence and post i sustained 3 puncture wounds which quickly changed the orange of my shorts to brownish red. The bruise is quite fantastic. I then began to wail and ask if any one had a booster or knew exactly WHAT tetnous would look like, as i was dying. but today, my dentist (yes, dentist) said i would be ok. If i had lock-jaw, it would have already hit....

THE RACE: i know so much more to go over...The debate started saturday afternoon, whether or not the experts would do the long course. By the time we got to the line with the pro women, Spiegle was yelling at us to never complain to him or say a word about choosing the long course. And we didnt. But then, as i was plodding back at the end of the race, i contemplated my horrid time, what if Tom looked at it and said thats it, from now on, those lazy experts will race the medium. It would be all my fault.

I started super strong on the hill climb. I was in there, where i needed to be, middle of the pack. But once i hit the single track, my luck turned or my karma came to visit. I dropped my chain 8 times, no joke. Those cables stretched out sooooo fast and the multiple wrecks the day before left there mark. Every time i dropped the chain, some girl passed me. This all happened on the single track where time and possition was paramount. This is also where all the grid-lock occurred. The sport men always do catch me, the leaders are great. Quick and to the point and polite. I despise the middle of the pack sport men. They are the bain of my racing existance. I had altercations with at least 15 of them. We shared words, they cut me off, i dropped my chain infront of them and they cursed. I want to ask them, "so are racing for 15th or 16th place? Neat, im racing for 2nd.!"They made me so excessively angry, added to the severe mechanicals, i was a head case. I kept it up though and made it to Los Pinos Climb. I love to climb. I enjoyed this horrid part of the race. I passed an expert guy!! But then i looked back and he was WALKING HIS BIKE UP THE ROAD. I also passed a semi-pro who was riding out on a flat. Hey, whatever makes you feel good about yourself.

At about the halfway point, i totally realized i was in last place. I havent really been there before, and i was not comfortable with it at all. All the experts passed me and the girl who beat me had me by 24 minutes. However, she is a Royal Sandbagger she would have come in 3rd out of all the pro's. She pushed Christie and wouldn't even look at me or go on the podium. Drama queen.

It ends up i was not last! There was another girl in my category who came in 30 minutes after me!! I sure hope she is ok. I dont even know what you could do out there for that long, build a wigwam or something...

The Jose Ole stuff has way too much white on it. I am supposed to wear these socks, totally white. They are mostly brown now. I think i will just allow them to assume that color for the rest of the season, to remind of the pain of sunday. I would also like to secure a sponsorship with OxyClean

This was hands-down the hardest race i have ever done. I have never had mechanicals before. I have never been tested this much. I told you this would be the season of firsts. All the races i did last year pale in comparisson to what i am up against this season.

But it will be good. I have a lot of support and a lot of mentors that have all been there before and know the pain and the yo-yo of emotions and performance.

Just another week and another race to get ready for. And to get that bike working right again. And, perhaps, some clean socks.

3 comments:

Christie said...

I was literally in tears laughing at your recap. ESPECAILLY the CO2 indicent, Barbed wire fence, AND "the guy walking his bike". WHAT a weekend of highs and lows for everyone! In the end you did GREAT and yes, Sagebrush is a brutal first serious expert race. I am proud of you!

grifsmum said...

you rock, joy! thanks for the comedy:-)

Joy said...

Yes, Christie, some of those things i guess you really had to be there to get the full effect! Have an excellent day off.

Sister, thank you for stalking me!! UPDATE YOUR BLOG!