Going for a stupid boat ride

I will be busy for a few days. i wont be answering the phone, emailing anyone, checking anyones blog or even communicating with family to see if Sister Julene's little girl is born - she's is due like last week or something.

I am chaperoning, that's right, the senior class and a ton of their parents on a Royal Caribbean Cruise.

My goals, in no specific order of importance:
1. Make sure the parents stay in line and on task
2. Step AWAY from the buffet
3. Attempt to stay awake for the 1-2am curfews
4. At least walk by the gym. i heard they have really nice spin bikes. i packed my shoes and shorts. pffff.
5. work on my tan. it is Mexico you know...
6. Stay in my room as much as possible. i think i might get sick.

Other than that my weekend looks pretty bland. Your's will probably be way more exciting...

If I Could Master the Round House Kick...

Some people would get my foot up-side their head about right now

A few, but of course not limited to, individuals that need a swift kick in the jaw will remain un-named, yet their short comings will be sighted.

At a recent JR. HIGH girl's basketball tournament, we lost by ONE point. A coach from another team came up to me and said "Way to let that one slip by coach." And bam, in my head, heal to the jaw.

Number two happened approximately the next day. At the same tournament. We lost. 40-7. What! They got a great cardio blast. The opposing coach, while thoughtfully shaking my hand said "Don't worry coach, you have the rest of the season."

Pff. I have the rest of the season to watch Jackie Chan movies and perfect my moves.

Recovery. Pfff.

Had my first Pro Mountain Bike race today! Had an excellent cool down, pizza and a soda, sat in the UN-hot hot tub for some cold therapy and should have called it a day.

But duty called, to a fundraiser Basketball game at work. Students vs. Faculty.

12 minute quarters. Freshman first quarter, working our way up to the seniors. Now we were allowed to have spouses play, and some of the ladies have married well, so they brought their Athlete Ringer husbands. But we had to have a girl on the court at all times. there were 4 of us lady folk, so i had to play.



Yup. thats me in the red shorts. We are playing the Seniors here, and they have no mercy. I am their class sponsor, and Friday we set sail on a Cruise Ship for Ensenada.

Unlike the English Teacher to on the right, i am NOT wearing white compression shorts. Thats my tan.

I have no idea where the ball was. It must have just been there.

That boy hurlding me, well, his giant knee brace tagged my melon and he stepped on my arm. Thats right, i have treads on my bicep.

its Midnight, my dad used to tell me nothing good happened past 10 pm, so i best be goin' to bed!

Why i am Not Allowed to Race Road Until the Fall

If even then...

In the Midst of a Dreary Day...

I was grading HEALTH tests for 9th graders, over Stress MAnagement. I am so not qualified to teach that chapter...

One essay question stated: Name three stress management techniques you use and explain why you find them helpful.

ANSWER from Kid A: "I go to a quiet place and imagine myself being a superhero in my imaginary world. Then i feel better."
Awesome. Completely, awesome.

I did Two Stupid things, off the top of my head

1. went out for a cold ride without a vest
2. Gave my email address out in public. Since my last name is nearly impossible to spell right, and Jeff Padgette has some women's crit photos of girls going down in a big way, he said he would send them to my hotmail account. As i rattled off the address, i looked out of the corner of my eye. And there, at the window, was the LURKER, you know who i mean. That's right. He's got my email address. I have had it since 1998, but i may have to change it. Tonight.

Balla' shot calla'

We all have our secrets

You are probably wondering what mine are. How much time do you have?

A. i eat a TON of candy
1. Anything Reese's
2. Anything sour
3. Anything sugary
4. Just like Elf, the main food groups - Sugar, candy corns....

B. I play(ed) basketball
1. I played in college, thats right. 4 years, NAIA Div II, sorta like NCAA Div II
2. I haven't really played in like, um, 4 years
3. i coached high school, but retired
4. Now i coach Jr High. i am losing my voice.

C. I look like Teen Wolf...

So on this basketball tangent. I joined an all-girls league. Nothing weird. I seem like an old hag on the team, im 28, they are like 20. But i can run hot laps around them cardio-wise. But what i have in cardio, i surely lack in talent. I keep trying to call "glass" or get an "and-1", but no dice. I do get the ball in the hole, don't get me wrong, im just not as proficient as i used to be.

They look at me weird sometimes, because i have a lot of energy. Also, my mouth runs constantly. The team we played tonight, my cousin Melissa is on it. I said terrible things to her, smacked her hiney, and got away with it. Im older than her.

Last week the other team boasted TWO of my previous teammates! Nasty things were said like "WHy do you have the ball, you cant dribble." And "You couldnt make that shot when you actually played ball, why try now." and the basics like "i am faster than you, you chump." Or "don't touch me *X@(#&!"

Next week we are playing an old college roommate of mine. She barely cracks 5 feet. i am going to guard her the whole time and talk about horrible college and high school mishaps. All hers of course.

i also either have to wear cycling shorts, which i have opted out of, my PE teaching shorts which i could wear while directing the Disney Safari Ride, or my practice shorts from college. They are XXL. Because we were Ballas', we wore them big. Plus, i was big(er).

They made fun of my tan lines.

Biscuits.

One girl told me my hair looked like Teen Wolf. I put a lot of product in it. I run real fast. I sweet a lot. It sticks out.

Check it.


Now that i see it, i just don't "see" it. i know i am due a brow wax, but come on.

I thought it looked more like this:

Maybe i will post something tomorrow...

But until then, rest your eyes on this:




My new ride
21.2 lbs
Don't hate