Dear Sea Otter Classic Spammers,
NO I will not come to your "high-quality" camping zone with zero grass, no water hook ups, on the pavement.
NO I will not pay $75 to race a Short Track race that lasts 30 minutes against the world's finest Mountain Bike females only to be pulled from said event in 12 minutes. (That's a whopping $6.25 per minute)
NO I will not register for your Cross Country race because in fact we are now in the "Late Registration" phase becuase the non-late registration phase ENDED IN JANUARY!
NO I do NOT want to purchase poor quality racing photos of myself covered in sweat and dirt and spit from last year. I was second to last you re-tard because I hung out in the "woods" helping fallen warriors succumbed by the horrid heat. For a race I paid $85 for!
You usually send me an email around 8am or 11pm. This email blips up on my phone, and I get excited. I think that someone valuable, cool, exciting, has hit me up with some fantastic news of racing splendor, cycling t-shirts, or something pink. But no. You are once again pimping out Monterey, one of the most expensive, non-cyclist friendly "cities" I have ever raced in. It's like Disney (DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED) Where they charge you a car-payment of an entry fee and force you to eat $11.00 funnel cakes that in fact will make you fat.
So sorry, I'm not going to be able to make it. And no, I won't be racing a crit that weekend either.
But this weekend, I will be.
Happy racing my friends! Cheers to you heading to Bonelli, rock on and hit some jumps for me! I'm heading to the illustrious town of Murrieta for an Omnium Road Race. Crit one day, circuit race the next! Bring it!!