First Encounters

I MET MY OTHER TITLE SPONSOR on the way to Firestone, NMBS #3. we didn't talk and frankly the driver gave me a pretty nasty look when i took this photo. But what do you expect from a Truck Driver!The company does a lot for my team and well my ability to wear a stellar Onsie to the races.


A first encounter that did NOT go down as planned: Meeting Wendy Simms. Whatever. I'm over it. we even drove into the venue behind a van with British Columbia plates and a KONA in the back. I knew it wasn't her bike, but i just hoped it was tucked in behind it. No dice.

Here in the IE it is 99 degrees today. Not the ideal set up for PE, so i took the girl into a class room for a little DVD aerobic action. Since i strive to be a wonderful role model, i had to partake in the punishment as well.


KICK BOXING. The girls whine and complain and say its not fair because i am in shape. Well, that may be a fact, but i am NOT inshape for such torture. My hip flexors will probably take a week to recover. oops. And i began to sweat in my school clothes. i HATE that.

Oh yes. i raced my bike this weekend because that's what i do to squander my time, money, and calories. As i say another grand weekend closer to my goals and closer to fitness.

The Fun Factory was in rare form, rolling into Los Olivos with Sarah Kaufman - new addition to our very select club, Christie, Matt, Trevor, Romolo, Carolyn, Shelli and Jesse. Jesse was an integral part of all of our success this weekend. He took pictures which will make us famous and did more walking around that course than i would ever desire to or willing complete on my own. (I am trying to get the rest of them to start blogs too.) Maybe next time, you too can stay with us. it will make everything that much cheaper.

Between random illness, loud hotel guests, scortching heat and lack of sleep, we all seemed to come out alive, happy, and still friends. And thats all that counts!

I must say that i did find the ticket to hydration. Be sick. if you can't breath out of your nose and you can't hear anything because your sinus system is completely plugged, you will inevitably breath out of your mouth causing a severe case of parched throat and mouth. I drank twice as much as usual thus avoiding the perils of heat exhaustion.

i saw girls walking backwards on the course to find shade. I passed girls i have never been near in a race and when i asked them if they were ok the answer was always "NO."

Hopefully everyone is recovered and feeling more normal today!!

I did find these photos on the net which really reminded me of the conditions we were in this weekend:
The DUST


The parched ground


This, coupled with the make-shift shower out by the trees, conviced me that this venue was in fact better, than Fontana.

I have arrived

1.) Junior High kids run from me because i am "so scary and mean." this is great news.

2.) After my ride sunday, (unfortunately) i hear rumblings that some kids are going to ride some bikes.



3.) And here they are. 5 students of mine, rolling the hills behind our house. They had so much fun, they planned another ride for Tuesday! We got to do flat fixes, seat adjustments, and Greg was in rare form slingin' shwag and showing them the ropes!



4.) Five years of yelling during PE and making them run the mile has finally paid off!!

Outside the Box

I think I am a pretty simple person. I feel like my posessions are at an all-time minimum and my spending completely OCD, and my personal-care regimen has been pretty low key.

But then Malora and Carrie came into town. They are hiking home, to Bellingham Washington, via the Pacific Crest Trail. they began in Campo, CA right at the border of Mexico.

Between insane laughing and feeling like i was stuck in an episode of The Office, they lectured me on my abundant showering and water waste. Then they dug into my excessive spending on things like pedicures and dozens of pairs of socks and explained in depth why organic lettuce costs $7.00 a head.

They have spent the last year working on organic farms in Hawaii and Italy where their tasks included picking coffee beans and pulling slugs off of lettuce leafs. Pretty much, i feel like a bad person.

They convinced me to only take one shower on Sunday and to forgo shaving for one day. Thats all i could handle.

Today i had to drop them off in Cabazon, CA at exit 110. The day looked like this. Windy, cold, and sprinkling rain. Carrie asked me to stop using the windshield wipers, it just made her feel better about heading out on the trail.



They are headed towards Big Bear, they should get there by Thursday or Friday. I offered to drive them up there, its like an hour away. that idea got shot down real quick.


They average 20 miles a day at 2mph pace. They are usually out on the trail for a total of 12 hours a day including stops and snack time. You should have seen the blisters on Malora's feet!! They stayed an extra day with me to get them to dry out just a little bit more.



Their packs weigh 20 pounds, depending on how much water they need to carry with them. Everything they have is ultra light and every item specifically selected. I tried to sneak in some candy, but it was quickly rejected due to its weight and being so cumbersom.

It was the oddest feeling watching them walk off into the mist under the "Wind Farm" of wind mills. The wind was so strong, i could hardly close the car door and they had to use their walking sticks on flat land.

One of the dozen things i learned from them this weekend is that if you think you need it, you probably don't. Just walk around the store with it for a few minutes, then put it back on the rack.


A few of their necessities they sent forward to me so they could have the necessary tools for the Sierra's.

Sensitive Habitat

Did some biking up in Idyllwild this weekend. The race announcer told us MANY times of the "Sensitive Habitats" that we would be riding through. That we MUST stay on the trails, even if we do not love nature!!

this phrase became the statement of the day.

While having the break through race of my life, with talent and allure so great it would have made the newspaper the next day (pfff, like every other day of my life), i flatted. Not just any flat. one that goes flat again. Now, this is "nobodies fault but my own". (that's a side note quote from the head lady at LA Fitness, yelling at me for cutting the stereo lock with bolt cutters. of course its my fault. i cut the lock) I suck at fixing flats. And i am a stress monkey. Put the two together, you've got CO2 burning my fingers and successfully evading the valve stem. I had to run about a quarter mile to an aid station where i could sort things out.

This sticker was pointed out on my roof rack. That's right, i have stickers up there from 1999. It was an omen.



Then the catching up began. I had lost way too much time to get back up into the 3, but i wanted to see how close i could get. But when in this position, i tend to flail about and take "risks" ie screw up, and proceeded to eat about 8 times. This began creating "Sensitive Habitat" within my personal ecosystem. Arms, legs, buttocks, top-tube. You get the picture. In order to preserve and protect, i backed off the throttle (4.3 mph) and decided to enjoy the habitat.

it was an excellent day. My floundering in the woods landed me $75 and a marble slab. I am going to pull a Coldstone and keep it in the freezer and mix my own ice cream on it, adding whatever i want. Nuggets of peanut butter, gummy bears, the works. Let me know if you want some.

Since in the land of Mountain Bike Racing, winning anything other than a nifty plastic medallion is like a once in a lifetime thing, I took Matt and Trevor out to lunch with my winnings. If you had been in our car, i would have bought you a churro too.



I also went to a birthday party. i clean up well, admit it.



The quality of my life at work is about to increase exponentially with the addition of bleachers in the gym. i love these guys.



In other REALLY exciting news, i had to get up at 6am Sunday morning and do a 5k with some students of mine. I was banking on the fact that they are child-slackers and wouldn't want to run the whole thing. I forgot one item. I am their teacher and i am fantastic. They ran the whole way, making it to the finish line in 30 minutes. Since i had ran so much during the race on Saturday, my cycling shoes had created nice blisters, which were exacerbated by my running shoes. i also broke a sweat, then had to shower again, to go to the above mentioned birthday bash.

I had such a wonderful time running...that i have decided to forgo the next National MTB race and do the XTERRA event in Temecula that same weekend.

Q and A with Wendy Simms!!!

Windy Simms, hands down my favorite top pro mountain bike chick. Pictured here at a Cross race (although i DO NOT condone CX events, she looks pretty tough here. Like she could eat you.)

I took a moment today to sketch out some questions for this World Class Athlete regarding her recent and continued assault on the World Cup Circuit.

I have found it tricky to contact her, especially since she is prepping for race #3 in Madrid. However, I did have a missed call on my cell today from a 902 area code. I called 411. They said that is a Canadian area code. Prince Edwards Island to be exact. Now Wendy is Canadian, so that could have been her. Thanks a lot, meeting chairperson, one missed call equals a lifetime of missed opportunity.

Since Wendy is unavaible at this time (good luck to her for SURE though) Matt Freeman offered to step in and answer as best he could. Pretty close second I think.

Hi Joy,
It’s Matt Freeman. Most people don’t know this, but I’m president of the Wendy Simms fan club. I don’t publicize it because she rides for Kona and I ride Fisher bikes, so it’s kind of a conflict of interest. Plus Wendy and I have never actually met, talked or even exchanged emails. In fact, I’m not allowed within 50 feet of the Kona truck and trailer at races anymore. Anyway, as you know Wendy is in Europe racing World Cups right now so she can’t answer your questions, but I can do my best. I’ve followed her long enough to know how she may answer.

J.O.B (Joy On Bike): Wendy, you used to ride for the Velo Bella Sorority Club, and now you are the token female on the Kona Factory Team. How do you feel about this transition?

MF: Since both teams ride Kona bikes it wasn’t much of change for Wendy at all. And I don’t like to consider her the token female on the team. I consider her more the queen bee or dominatrix.

JOB: Did you select to race with these boys because they are all taller than you?

MF: Wendy raced cyclocross on the Kona Factory Team, so her transition to the mountain bike squad was seamless. It actually came about as a bet during a pick-up basketball game Wendy was playing with Ryan Trebon, Barry Wicks, & Chris Sneddon. Wendy dunked on Trebon & Wicks to earn her spot on the team. I got it all on film if you want to see it. She’s got hops.

JOB: Do you break as many seat posts as they do?

MF: The last time Wendy broke a seat post she was riding a Specialized, so no, she doesn’t break seat posts! What kind of question is that anyway, Joy?

JOB: Do you find it stressful racing in the USA? Do you feel like your competitors constantly have the “Blame Canada” song running through their minds?

MF: Wendy doesn’t mind racing in the USA, just as long as it’s not in the Hell of the West otherwise known as Fontana. A couple of the Sobe Cannondale girls have been known to hum Blame Canada when Wendy puts the hurt on them, but for the most part Legs by ZZ Top runs through most people’s minds when Wendy’s around.

JOB: A recent post on your blog has a hinney shot of a girl’s shorts that has “MOIST and CHEWY” emblazoned on them. Are they sponsored by some sort of Nougat?

MF: We (Wendy & I) aren’t really sure what the deal was with the “MOIST and CHEWY” shorts, but personally, I believe those shorts belong on Wendy and no one else.

JOB: Your blog also boasts fantastic race shots of the Pro men on your team. How do you find time to race your heart out, cool down, then hike to such places as the “snake pit” and “wolf drop” to support your teammates? Your resilience is enviable.

MF: Don’t let her fierce competiveness fool you. Wendy is selfless, loyal, and dedicated to her friends and teammates. Aside from her long legs and goddess good looks, that’s what makes her a beautiful person and a treat to be within 50 feet of her presence.

JOB: Do you find it difficult to get the mud out of your new, mostly white, racing kit?

MF: Wendy hasn’t actually had to wash any of her new white racing kits and skinsuits yet. Some weirdo keeps swiping them from the Kona trailer before she can get them home.

JOB: You got a new bike, and I must say, its pretty much the cat’s meow. What’s the history on the skull and cross bones on the down tube?

MF: The skull and cross bones is a superstitious thing that is meant to scare off her men male suitors. It only works on some of us.

JOB: You had an unfortunate run in with fate in Arizona with a crash in STXC and a flat in the XC race. What were 7 things that went through your mind as you hiked your bike back to the pit areas?

MF: I can’t really read Wendy’s mind, but she was probably thinking about how hot it was because the sweat was glistening all over her body. She also kept looking back, so she probably knew that she was being followed.

JOB: I see your biggest fears in life are starving to death and freezing to death. Let us understand a little bit more about these phobias.

MF: I too read this on Wendy’s blog and was delighted because those two things are my biggest frears also. This is what draws me even closer to her. Although, if I did have to starve or freeze to death, I’d want it to be with Wendy.

JOB: I completely agree with this statement from your blog: “In other news. I gave up on my chocolate boycott. It wasn't helping. Perhaps even hindering my results. I think my glycogen stores were depleted without chocolate to top them off. Seriously. I think I race better on chocolate.” What was your first choice of chocolate? Walk us through that initial bite.

MF: I can’t answer this for sure, but I’d like to think Wendy caved with some good old fashion chocolate syrup. You know, the kind that sometimes spills and you have to lick it off your arm. I’m thinking that’s the kind of chocolate Wendy likes.

JOB: I like your style. When “Susie Colnago” pulled a fast one, you wanted to punch her in the head. Solid. You said video footage could be found from Newt. Who is this guy? Where can he be found? And can we watch that video ASAP?

MF: Newt, or Newton, as he’s known to the authorities is another one of Wendy’s admirers who follows her (from a court-mandated 50 foot distance) and films her every move. For some unapparent reason that I can’t figure out, Wendy has taken a liking to him and now allows him to fetch her chocolate, lattes, etc. It’s kind of like that paparazzi photographer guy that Britney Spears has let slip into her life. It’s driving me nuts because Newt really doesn’t care for Wendy. He’s just trying to make a buck off of her.

Turn-Coat

Message from Sister Julene down in New Zealand:

"Today 100 people gained citizenship to New Zealand. We truly were a motley crew but the experience was really exciting! At the end I decided to join the line of people getting their pictures with the Mayor and since we were the last we had a good chat and laugh with he and his wife. When you look at the picture you'll see Gwen really liked the mayor!"

She now sports a completely coveted New Zealand Passport, plus a US one. Her kids have both too. Lucky.

A Few Things Come To Mind

1. Denim sucks. I just don't understand. The kids at school beg to wear it, they cost well over a hundred bucks and jeans are SO uncomfortable!! So i don't own a SINGLE pair. i borrowed some, and well, i must say they looked HOT. but that was IT. So tight, hard run and chase things, when i started to sweat (just sitting and they are SO dang temperature HOT), they stretched weird at the knees, sagged in the back and showed my chonies when i tried to tie my shoe. Give me some yoga pants!

2. Road race. $30. i like this style. Two problems with the day. we were going so wicked fast, there was no time or place to rid my nostrels of their goods, on the big huge giant back descent, they were just all over my face. Also, 1pm race in Palmdale equals HOT. i loosened my right shoe strap. i got so excited and forgot to loosen my left. By the end, it looked like i was pregnant on the left side, swollen ankles, puffy feet. Classic hot/fat foot.

3. Oh yes, i also have a broken cleat on my left road shoe. Solid. but my idea was this is not a mountain bike race, so in theory, the only time i will clip in is at the start, and only time out, at the finish. This did ring true, BUT, the up hill start proved tricky. my pedal was spinning in circles, i was kicking it and trying to get in, i had mountain biker written all over my back.

If my mom still paid my phone bill, i would be grounded

TEXT ALLOWERD PER MONTH: 1,500

TEXT USED LAST MONTH: 2,099

Bullet Points

i have started to organize my rambling thoughts in bullet points.
it makes me more efficient
it also makes you less confused

 Dumbest voicemail this week: “Joy…..its *&%$. ….Friday. ….your probably busy…..as usual. Just calling….to….say hi. Maybe your racing this weekend, maybe not…….good luck. Have a nice day……..” click.

 Cousin Quote of the week: “You should know-we just did a trial hike with all of our gear-18 miles in 6 hours and we are HURTING!! Oh my God, what we were thinking? Hopefully what I'm feeling right at this moment will soon disappear and be replaced by my once existing excitement about hiking 20+ miles a day.” Cousin Malora about to embark on the Pacific Crest Trail. For the next three months. Lucky/Stupid.

 I have problems focusing
o I went to yoga
 The instructor talked about an ant on the floor, her inability to focus, and the fact that she could not hold the pose she was in fact making us hold
 This was a waste of my mental time. Good for stretching. Useless for focus.

o I had a massage
 The girl talked the 62% of the time.
 I don’t need any more friends.
• Although I could replace some
 I don’t go get a massage to meet people. Please.

o I lay in bed as calm as possible
 There are sticky stars on the ceiling that shimmer and glow.
• I counted them
o Waste of time

 I watch a lot of reality TV
o You should too. I think it only takes up about 6 hours of my week
o I usually do abs and stretching while indulging, and I get to fast forward them because they are recorded!

o Here are my staples, since the biggest loser is over!
 WORKOUT starring Jackie Warner. I fashioned my newest hair cut on her hair from last season. You would like it. BRAVO, Tuesdays @10pm

 THE ALASKA EXPERIMENT I should have applied for this one. Although I probably would have been killed by a Beluga, my luck as it is. DISCOVERY CHANNEL (not the team, they don’t exist anymore) 10 PM Tuesday. Don’t worry, I DVR them! Way past my bed time!

 TOP CHEF I really like to eat and cook. But I am convinced that ALL the food on this show would make the eater fatter than a lab rat. BRAVO Wednesday, 10pm!

 SURVIVOR The headline says “Jason follows Ozzy, betrayed by a women!” Good stuff. I always wonder if the crew and Jeff Probst have to eat coconuts and grubs while filming. Doubt it! This one is on 8pm Thursday, but I don’t remember what channel!

 There are some more!! But I can’t fess up (or just won’t link for you)! Like The Hills, Rock of Love 2, the Real World

 I decided to a road race this weekend.
o Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She's Got a Biter!!!

Julene and Baby Gwen

That's what she gets for naming her baby after ME!!! I used to bite the sister on a daily basis. What was she thinking!!

My Mom Thinks I am Fantastic

At the races this weekend my mom wore a home made t-shirt from 2000.
FRONT: Joy's Mom
BACK: Joy's Number 1 Fan

Maybe your mom will make one for you one day.

RACE REPORT
Thats right, i am going to report on a race. i think i came in 5th, but that's neither here nor there.



Here are the reasons YOU should go to the Napa Valley Dirt Classic next year:
*$35 entry fee, plus a killer t-shirt, in girl cut


*FANTASTIC job marking the course!! On one corner i counted ELEVEN (11) red arrows, two big chalk arrows on the dirt, and well, a really obvious single track trail heading that way!!(I think they make the bad PE majors mark the course. i had to clean up the course for a free entry one year. it took all week)


*FOUR (4) water stations out on course with at least 20 course marshals!! (It is a giant loop, so it could be a long day for some! At one water station, a former baskteball player of mine was handing out water. I threw it back at her. She was like, OMG, Duerk, is that you?!)

*SUCCULANT single track!! One of the FIRST ever mountain bike rides i did was on these trails. It was at night. with a Petzel head lamp. i did horrible. and continued to do horrible. if you ever want to reassure yourself that you are actually improving your mad skills, go ride a trail like that! I was able to clean everything and actually laughed out loud at the spots that i used to be TERRIFIED of!! Each section of single track reminded me of a different day, a different season, or a different group of people i was out riding with. I passed the spot where i lost all 2/3 of the skin on my arm. I gingerly rode over the spot that i lost my 3 front teeth. I looked the other way when i rode under the tree that caught my camel back and pulled me off my bike!


Most of the trails remain the same as they were back in early 2000, except for this spot. The President of the college had a house built to the left. That was the trail. Now the trail is to the right. This part sucked.


This is one of my favorite spots, it lasts about 60 feet, nice and tight through a Manzanita grove. I found myself being the roving GPS through some spots of the trail and inadvertantly yelling out that yes, you can take that line, and no you shouldn't take the right side on the first Woop-de-Woop. The girls were sad when they dropped me.


i also got to see former students of mine, some of my favorite professors and advisors from college and my basketball coaches and teammates as well. its amazing i was able to focus enough to even RIDE my bike! I was also elated to share the ride with so many fantastic racers like Maureen, Emma, Heidi, Mary Ellen and ALL the boys...
I snuck into the basketball team room, and i think i half scared the coaches and the high school seniors that were there trying out for the team. I asked them if i could Walk On, they just stared at me.

And, as planned earlier, i began spending my $178. The entry fee. The bike flying as luggage, and this little number, just in time for a weekend by the pool. And away from racing.

Hmmmph

HEADING NORTH!!

i decided how to waste my money away. I am going to the Napa Valley Dirt Classic, in the Napa Valley. DUH. My parents live close, i grew up there, and the trails are better than Aspen. Well, maybe they are. The first bike-packing of the season had me scratching my head and wondering if this will be the year i crack my frame.

Yesterday i had a really hard day at work.

Nancy and I took 36 kids to Laguna, the Beach. We were pretty cute in are BIG glasses, and yes, that IS my favorite shirt. Paige gave it to me for Valentine's day. AWWW.


I had a HUGE lunch at Johnny Rockets - delic! Water and a Root Beer Float.


We needed to take a volleyball to the beach so the kids could recreate, so i took the closest one i could find. Come to find out, it is from another school. They are for indoor use only.


NOVA: i raced a bike in Arizona and nothing went wrong. That's my story, and i am sticking too it! I even busted out the Onesy for Short Track, where i started um LAST and ended up 33rd! You know it is funny when the 30's is a good day!! The podiums for the weekend were littered with National Champions from 4 countries, so i can not complain!

The learning curve was VERY high, and i am now three days closer to stellar fitness!!


Thanx a ton to EMMA, who is doing EXCELLENT in the expert ranks, for taking killer shots, which i have subsequently stolen from her. Nice!! i will return the favor, perhaps!!

Things i can do with $178 other than race at Sea Otter

I was going to go to Sea Otter.
Now i am not.

I have a job.
plus, I tend to have odd misfortunes there, and well, spending a small fortune in the process is really lame.

I went on the NET to see if i could register! Sure i can. BUT, since the race is like 2 weeks away, there are $25 late fee's for each category. That equals a $77 Short Track Race. Now i am no genuis, and i am no phenom at STXC. My last one lasted a whopping 18 minutes. Pretty long if you think about it. That means EACH MINUTE OF THE RACE WOULD HAVE COST ME $4.27!!!!

oK, i can bail out of that race. BUT, the Cross Country race cost $91. I just paid $105 for three races. I'm out.

Here's what i am going to contemplate doing with that cash instead:
1. Give it to Trevor.
2. Buy a pair of Rock and Republic jeans. (um, only if tattoo face helps me pick them out)
3. 6 bikini's from target or 2 from some other place
4. 1.35 months worth of rent on my storage unit
5. 1/4 of the new axle on my car
6. A hair cut - i need one, and a dye job, and a brow wax
7. A tattoo and a half, just to keep up with David
8. FOOD - buying non sugary non-processed food gets pretty pricey
9. 5.39 pairs of Crocs
10. 3.25 entries to State Races

I will be sure to keep you posted on what i do with my cash.

Maybe i will just put it under my bed.

I must confess

And NO this has nothing to do with eating an entire package of oreo's or anything.

The Elders have decided that i must go on yet ANOTHER right of passage quest.

Tomorrow, before the sun rises over the smoggy peaks, i will be on my way to Scottsdale, AZ for round 2 of the National Mountain Bike Series.

I will at last return having spent hours on the bike getting a great cardio blast.

Right of Passage

Just like a little Indian boy, i have been sent out on my right of passage voyage. Although i have yet to find my true Indian Name, i did find a new teammate along the way, as well as a new title sponsor and racing kit. Thank the gods for all of those...


Expert racer SHELLI and i after my first Pro Short Track. Someone lied to me. This was like nothing ever experienced in my life. I had dirt tears curreaning down my face due to the extremely high amounts of dirt in my eyes. i couldn't see anyone on the first lap because it was so dusty!

Not pictured additions to Team COLE/Marten Trans are Tonya Bray PRO XC and Tammy, Beginner. Getting the women out on the trails!


Pre-short track. Recovering, slightly, from Saturdays Cross Country race. i might as well have been playing Lacrosse with the Sioux Nation for the last three years, i have never worked this hard for that exteneded period of time in any race. Ever. Done.

I loved it.

We need to talk.

Excerpts:

I am not sick any more, YET i maintain my pledge to continue in sugary indulgences. Here is a snippet of what still ails me:

Mr. Coach:
I have completely recovered from the black death. A few minor issues linger, like if i tap the back of my head on the precise spot, i can feel it in a few of my molars. I can also feel those specific teeth if i go over a bump or any sweet jumps.


Other than that, i have just been TCB, laying by the pool, fixing my hair and picking out my outfits.

However, i did get a bit too much sun on my back. it keeps getting darker while the back and front for that matter, of my thighs stays opaquely white. it could be the shadow of my extremely large hind-quarters that blocks the sun from reaching the skin. i apologize for loosing my small white t-shirt tan lines. I don't know what i was thinking. I will wear a jersey while laying out tomorrow, which in fact will solve the problem of the burned back. But what to do with the thighs...

On another note, my water diet is going well. We have a reverse osmosis (eh?) water filter, so i can feel the ions (?) and minerals (?) running through my veins, but mostly out of my urethra. I only have one. Other people have two. i don't know if you know that or not.

i covet a nap right now since i squandered my night hours away watching A level reality TV which quickly fell to the quality of something that would go straight to video. But a nap i can not have because a) my back is burned c) my sheets are in the wash c) i used half a can of expensive hairspray on my hair, to get it to "pop" which after an encounter with Mr. pillow, would have to be readjusted and reapplied. I can not have flat hair for the big events of my evening, which shall include but yet are not limited to:

watching reality TV
drinking high quality water
avoiding at all costs the teenagers that are convening here for a hot tub adventure. you don't even want to know.

I stay in my room. this sounds highly negligent, oh quite contrare. I keep my window wide open, and the light off. i can see and hear way more than they can. i call it impeccable hearing and a pretty good view.

I got sick

So i decided this stupid No Sugar thing did it.

I made (and subsequently ate) brownies WITH Reese's Peanut Butter cups; chocolate chips; Heath Bar Bits; and i served it hot, with vanilla ice cream.

Although i could not taste it because my nose is so plugged, it felt really good to be so bad.

I weigh 6 pounds more today.

Back to the drawing board.

Just when i thought i was a really exciting person:

I get an email from a friend that was in reply to one that i had sent. This is what i had to say, and this is why i need to find another hobby OR participate at a higher level in the ones i already have:

Hopefully you had a delicious dinner. Mine was ok, but it left me feeling over fed and distended which leads me to believe i over ate and could become fat by the morning which also led me to "think" about yaking it all back up. it wasnt that good anyways.

I have not even decided which pair of plaid shorts i should wear tomorrow or if i should opt for something a bit more bland.

I should have taken a sick day today

Today is Track and Field Day for the high school. They asked me yesterday...to take care of all the running events. I got here at 7:15am to make sure all the spots were lined and marked. i was met with a dissary of what the children now view as class spirit.

As PE teacher, i have many other duties. Janitor falls in that line somewhere.

The Stupid Rock got painted. Again.


The Field got Forked


They put Cups in the fence


A Trash Can Elevated


Looks like the Tables are now part of a Fortress


Low Budget Cinco de Mayo party


My Fan Club making a move

You know it will be a good day in PE land when

you get a box full of these first thing in the morning

Fighting the Good Fight

Against sugar that is.
i have convinced myself that fresh or dried fruits DO NOT count as sugar. Although i am well aware that they are. I also believe that sugar added to a cup of coffee is in fact, not sugar.

BUT these are the things i have passed up in precisely one week:
1. Cake x 3
2. Muffins
3. Donuts
4. Brownies (i even made these with handfuls of chocolate chips and ate not a ONE)
5. Cookies of various shapes and sizes
6. Delicious circus animal crackers. mmmm.

And these are only the items that have been offered to me. Imagine what torture the check out line is at the super market.

I am dreading Easter Sunday...

it was as big as a forK!!!

DFC Part 3, i think. i lost track

Although i like to think of myself as the most popular Duerksen, there are a few more and sometimes, they do some pretty cool stuff.

In spirit of the Fit theme (Duerksen Fit Camp) i will start with sister Julene. She just had baby number 2 which is a sure way to drop 1-20 pounds in a day. Good work and excellent baby building!

Nephew Griffyn stays fit playing in sand, dirt, mud, water. He just had his 3rd birthday party. while his mom was in the hospital, dad was sick with the flu. But he didn't care. He got toys.


Here is the proud Papi, Rouru, with Gwendolyn Manangany Joy Duerksen-Kapao. I know, poor kid has Joy Duerksen in her name. i better clean up my act. I hope they just call her Gwen.



Here is sister, Griffyn and Gwen, doing the Island thing


My parents keep fit by traveling the globe. This here is a Blue-Footed Booby. Serious. Dad took this photo in the Galapagos Islands last month!


This is a sure way to derail your fitness. This burrito was the size of a loaf of bread. I ate half of mine. Then spread the rest out over Monday and Tuesdays lunchs. Jeremy ate all of his. sick.


This here could be the root of all my problems. I have NOT eaten candy for 36 hours. I am doing ok. i had to down a ton of orange juice and eat an entire pack of gum. But no candy has crossed these lips!


Jeremy came to Bonelli to prove his fitness. He doesn't race mountain bikes, and flipped out at $50 entry fees. He raced the 5 stages of the Tour of Gila for just over $100. What gives! After bribing him with a $20, (which he later used to buy that giant burrito) he opted to renew his super old expert license and forgo racing sport. This was a good thing, he came in second and took a nasty spill that left his squeeling and bleeding from the elbow. I went to first aid and just saw his bike and jersey. awkward. But he only complained about falling on his Garmin and ruining it. he was also worried he may have injured Uncle Greg's Superfly, but it proved resiliant. That Superfly is how Greg is recapturing his fitness.


I was just excited that i got some new white shades and had enough product to put my hair up in fo-hawk form. The cardio blast you receive at Bonelli can do nothing but improve your fitness.

Zack Thorp, crit specialist, came to the games too, only to get stung by a bee. On his head. Which he was allergic too. We looked like warriors all sprawled out on the lawn, bike 50 yards away. Zack asking for Benedryl, Jeremy wondering if he had in fact hit the guy or if the guy had actually backed into him going 25 mpg, Shelli wondering if that shot-gun sound when she flatted had actually blown her sidewall, and i was still wondering where all the candy was. All as Matt was riding backwards on the course looking for some water. Maybe thats where my candy is.